Blog Post

World Peace… Is it possible? What can you do about it?

Wilma Stern-Cavalcante • Apr 26, 2023

Most people under this sun would like to live in a world where we all get along well

I like to think that most people under this sun would like to live in a world where we all get along well and there would be no war. But… how is it possible??? Thinking globally, we have so many cultures with so many different values in this amazing world of ours. How can we all get along with no judgment? How can we live with full acceptance? How can we live and let live? What about in our own country? Can we live in peace? The answer seems to be “no.” We just have to think about election time. How the parties’ candidates attack each other. So many times, there is no respect for the other person’s opinion or ideas. We seem to have a hard time accepting that other people think differently than us. What about in our community? It is not much different than our nation. What about our extended family? Our nuclear family? And if you are a human being who lives with other human beings, the answer will be “no” too! There are families who get along better than others, but there is not one single family who will have everybody on the same page and with no conflicts. Can I go one step further? What about you with yourself? How peaceful are you with who you are and what you do? Again, if you are a human being, you will have inner conflicts too. People usually say that “we are our worse enemy.” We have difficulties even accepting who we are. Whether it is about our physical body (e.g., how much we weigh, how tall we are, the colour of our skin, the size of our nose) or our skills or what we say that we shouldn’t have said, or what we should or should not do, we are so harsh on ourselves. If we are unable to live in peace with ourselves, how on earth can we have world peace?!?!?


Would you like world peace? Then, to use Michael Jackson’s words, “…start with the [person] in the mirror.” I would like to invite you to begin world peace within. How? By learning to accept your flaws and your mistakes; by accepting 100% of who you are. Acceptance does not mean that you will stop growing as a person or trying to look better or anything else we are looking to improve or change. For example, we can apologize if we hurt somebody, or we can change our lifestyle if we feel we are not functioning as well as we could.  However, we do all that with compassion, love, and respect for ourselves. I do not know where I heard this, but someone said something like this … “a criminal commits a crime, s/he is judged, goes to prison, pay his/her time and the crime is forgiven/forgot. Many of us make a mistake and it does not matter how long ago it happened or whether we atoned for it, we continue to punish ourselves.” We also need to learn how to forgive ourselves. To let it go. 


I like using SoulCollage® to explore those parts that get in my way. SoulCollage® is a creative collage process where people make their own decks of collaged cards for their personal use. We collect images found in magazines, calendars, books, and cards; we glue it to a background that captures the mood we want; and then, we begin to ask questions. These questions help us learn about all our parts. Through SoulCollage®, we begin to learn and understand why these parts are there; their purpose/function. Most of us have many parts that we do not like, some we want to ignore and other than we simply hate. However, there are no bad parts. Richard Schwartz (the person who developed the Internal Family System) wrote the book “No Bad Parts: Healing Trauma and Restoring Wholeness with the Internal Family Systems Model” (Richard Schwartz Ph.D. and Alanis Morissette - Jul 6, 2021). In it, he argues that every part of us is there for a purpose. They are there to protect us and keep us safe. 

What about some of the parts that somehow hurt us, but they are supposed to be “good”? For example, the pleaser, the good girl/boy, the perfectionist. Why are they there? Answer: to protect and keep us safe. That will be the answer for every single part of us. No part is there to damage us or make us miserable, albeit some seem to do just that. Even when we have a part that is mean to us, its purpose is still to protect and keep us safe. On the last blog post, I shared with you about my inner critic. Despite its harshness, it was trying to protect me. When we begin to explore our internal family, we will get a better understanding of why we behave the way we do and, hopefully, we will be able to be more compassionated and happier with who we are. By exploring them, you will learn what is happening there. 


I would like to invite you to begin to explore your parts. Start by listing your parts, from the ones you like to the ones you despise and all the parts in between. Then, begin to wonder/be curious about which parts are you going to start exploring? Try being aware when the part comes to the surface. That is, when do you feel that that part is acting on your behalf (e.g., agreeing to do something that you shouldn’t – people pleaser). Begin to explore, why is this part here? What is it trying to accomplish? Is there a part that gets in your way either by making you afraid or hesitant to try something new or to change something that is not working for you? Is there a part that keeps holding you back? Some parts that you may begin to explore are the inner critic, the perfectionist, the hater, the impatient, the judge, the know-it-all, the pleaser, the “I don’t need help”, to name just a few. By getting to know each of our parts, we begin to appreciate them because we understand them better and we can have more compassion towards them. By getting to know these parts, we transform them into allies, we begin to accept and appreciate who we are and live more at peace with ourselves.


So, what does this have to do with world peace? As we get to know and understand why our challenging parts are there, we are likely to appreciate (or at least wonder) why other people behave the way they do. If all of us can begin to be kind to ourselves maybe one day we will achieve world peace as we will be more likely to be tolerant and compassionated not only towards ourselves, but also to everybody else – even those people that today would drive us bananas. So…How are you going to contribute to world peace? Remember: each tiny step counts!

I saw this quote the other day and thought it fits perfectly with this article!


“When you are transformed the world will be transformed. For you are the world and the world is you.”

-Gospel of Mary Magdalene


Starting next post, I will talk in more detail about SoulCollage®. First, I will give you an introduction to SoulCollage® and how to make cards. Then, I will discuss the suits (SoulCollage® has 4), starting with the Committee Suit. The Committee suit is made up of cards that represent aspects of our own personality and all the other little pieces that make us who we are. As we begin to work with the images, we begin a wonderful exploration of who we are and how we got there. Until then, be kind to yourself!

 

By Dr. Wilma Stern-Cavalcante 12 Jun, 2023
SoulCollage® cards can be made intentionally and intuitively. Intentionally means that you will browse images with an intention to make a specific card. Here are my suggested steps on how to make a SoulCollage® card,
By Dr. Wilma Stern-Cavalcante 12 Jun, 2023
How many ‘inner voices’ can you identify. See my breakdown of the voices and the role of each voice. By the way, it is my take on it. Whatever you come up with is right for you and that’s all that matters, and that is the premise of SoulCollage®.
By Dr. Wilma Stern-Cavalcante 03 Apr, 2023
We are all imperfect and if we were to accept ourselves and others with all the imperfections and we were to exercise our tolerance and compassion, it seems to me that the world would be a much better place. As a psychologist, I always try to help my clients to be compassionate towards themselves. To accept that we are humans and mistakes are part of the experience as a human.
By Dr. Wilma Stern-Cavalcante 06 Nov, 2018
Everyone feels anxious at times. Challenges such as workplace pressures, public speaking, highly demanding schedules or writing an exam can lead to a sense of worry, even fear. These sensations, however uncomfortable, are different from the ones associated with an anxiety disorder. People suffering from an anxiety disorder are subject to intense, prolonged feelings of fright and distress for no obvious reason. The condition turns their life into a continuous journey of unease and fear and can interfere with their relationships with family, friends and colleagues. Anxiety disorders are the most common of all mental health problems. It is estimated that approximately 25% of the population experience an anxiety disorder during their lifetime and many people have both anxiety and depression. They are more prevalent among women than among men, and they affect children as well as adults. Anxiety is a disorder and it is treatable! Unfortunately, they are often mistaken for mental weakness or instability. In addition, the resulting social stigma can discourage people with anxiety disorders from seeking help. Understanding the facts about anxiety disorders is an important step to cope better. Realising that they are medical disorders which can be treated will help to remove the stigma, and encourage people with anxiety disorders to explore the treatments available. A proper diagnosis is key to putting a person with an anxiety disorder on the right treatment path. Many people go undiagnosed for 10 years or more. Since research suggests that many general health care practitioners are unaware of all the appropriate treatments for anxiety disorders, you might consider the option of a specialized anxiety disorder clinic. If such a facility is not available in your area, you may want to look for a psychologist who specializes in anxiety disorders. What exactly are anxiety disorders? Anxiety disorders are a group of disorders which affect behaviour, thoughts, emotions and physical health. Research into their origins continues, but it is believed they are caused by a combination of biological factors and an individual’s personal circumstances, much like other health problems, such as heart disease or diabetes. It is common for people to suffer from more than one anxiety disorder; and for an anxiety disorder to be accompanied by depression, eating disorders or substance abuse. Anxiety disorders can also coexist with physical disorders, in which case the physical condition should also be treated. According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders – Fourth Edition (commonly referred to as DSM-IV), anxiety can be classified as: Generalized Anxiety Disorder: Characterized by repeated, exaggerated worry about routine life events and activities, this disorder lasts at least six months, during which time the person is affected by extreme worry more days than not. The individual anticipates the worst, even if others would say they have no reason to expect it. Physical symptoms can include nausea, trembling fatigue, muscle tension, or headache. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder: This is a condition in which people suffer from persistent unwanted thoughts (obsessions) and / or rituals (compulsions) which they find impossible to control. Typically, obsessions concern contamination, doubting (such as worrying that the iron hasn’t been turned off) and disturbing sexual or religious thoughts. Compulsions include washing, checking, organizing and counting. Panic Disorder with or without Agoraphobia: As the name suggests, panic disorder is expressed in panic attacks which occur without warning, accompanied by sudden feelings of terror. Physically, an attack may cause chest pain, heart palpitations, shortness of breath, dizziness, abdominal discomfort, feelings of unreality and fear of dying. When a person avoids situations that he or she fears may cause a panic attack, his or her condition is described as panic disorder with agoraphobia. Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder – A terrifying experience in which serious physical harm occurred or was threatened can cause post-traumatic stress disorder. Survivors of rape, child abuse, car accident, war or a natural disaster may develop post-traumatic stress disorder. Common symptoms include flashbacks, during which the person re-lives the terrifying experience, nightmares, depression and feelings of anger or irritability. Social Anxiety – People with social phobia feel a paralysing, irrational self-consciousness about social situations. They have an intense fear of being observed or of doing something horribly wrong in front of other people. The feelings are so extreme that people with social phobia tend to avoid objects or situations that might stimulate that fear, which dramatically reduces their ability to lead a normal life. Specific Phobias – Fear of flying, fear of heights and fear of open spaces are some typical specific phobias. People suffering from a specific phobia are overwhelmed by unreasonable fears, which they are unable to control. Exposure to feared situations can cause them extreme anxiety and panic, even if they recognize that their fears are illogical. How can anxiety disorders be treated? There are two main medical approaches to treating an anxiety disorder: drug therapy and cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT). Combining the two types of treatment can be effective. Because most anxiety disorders have at least some biological component, anti-depressants and anti-anxiety drugs are generally prescribed. It is important to inquire about possible side effects of any medication. Therapeutic strategies can be effective in reducing symptoms in each of the anxiety disorders. The techniques used include cognitive restructuring, to help people turn their anxious thoughts, interpretations and predictions into thoughts which are more rational and less anxious. People with anxiety disorders may also benefit from controlled exposure to feared objects or situations. Therapy Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT): A well-established, highly effective, and lasting treatment is called cognitive-behavioral therapy, or CBT. It focuses on identifying, understanding, and changing thinking and behavior patterns. Benefits are usually seen in 12 to 16 weeks, depending on the individual. In this type of therapy the patient is actively involved in his or her own recovery, has a sense of control, and learns skills that are useful throughout life. CBT typically involves reading about the problem, keeping records between appointments, and completing homework assignments in which the treatment procedures are practiced. Patients learn skills during therapy sessions, but they must practice repeatedly to see improvement. Exposure Therapy: A form of CBT, exposure therapy is a process for reducing fear and anxiety responses. In therapy, a person is gradually exposed to a feared situation or object, learning to become less sensitive over time. This type of therapy has been found to be particularly effective for obsessive-compulsive disorder and phobias. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy: Also known as ACT, this type of therapy uses strategies of acceptance and mindfulness (living in the moment and experiencing things without judgment), along with commitment and behaviour change, as a way to cope with unwanted thoughts, feelings, and sensations. ACT imparts skills to accept these experiences, place them in a different context, develop greater clarity about personal values, and commit to needed behaviour change. Dialectical Behavioural Therapy (DBT): Integrating cognitive-behavioural techniques with concepts from Eastern meditation, dialectical behavioural therapy, or DBT, combines acceptance and change. DBT involves individual and group therapy to learn mindfulness, as well as skills for interpersonal effectiveness, tolerating distress, regulating emotions. Medication Medication treatment of anxiety is generally safe and effective and is often used in conjunction with therapy. Medication may be a short-term or long-term treatment option, depending on severity of symptoms, other medical conditions, and other individual circumstances. However, it often takes time and patience to find the drug that works best for you. Four major classes of medications are used in the treatment of anxiety disorders: Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors (SSRIs), Serotonin-Norepinephrine Reuptake Inhibitors (SNRIs), Benzodiazepine, and Tricyclic Antidepressants. These drugs work by reducing or increasing the absorption of neurotransmitters in the system. If you would like to know more about these drugs, please consult with your physician. Resources Web Sites: CMHA -Canadian Mental Health Association http://www.cmha.ca/mental-health/understanding-mental-illness/anxiety-disorders/ CAAM – Centre for Addiction and Mental Health http://www.camh.net/ ADAC – Anxiety Disorders Association of Canada http://www.anxietycanada.ca/english/index.php ADAO – Anxiety Disorders Association of Ontario http://www.anxietydisordersontario.ca/ McMaster university Medical Center – Anxiety Disorders Clinic (check their Recommended Reading List) http://www.macanxiety.com/satsc.htm CASA - Child, Adolescent and Family Mental Health http://www.casaservices.org/ ADAA - Anxiety Disorders Association of America http://www.adaa.org/ S.T.A.R.T. Clinic http://www.startclinic.ca/ FNHS – From Rollercoaster to Recovery: A Guidebook for Families Navigating the Mental Health System in Wellington-Dufferin Counties http://www.mentalhealthfamilyguide.ca/page.php?id=1 A Few Books: Mind over Mood: Change How you Feel by Changing the Way you Think by Greenberger and Padesky The Mindfulness and Acceptance Workbook for Anxiety by Forsyth and Eifert Treating Generalized Anxiety Disorder by Rygh and Sanderson The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook by Bourne The Mindful Path through Worry and Rumination by Kumar This site has a list of several books on anxiety: http://www.anxietycanada.ca/english/books.php#gad The information presented here comes from the following sources: ADAA: Anxiety Disorders Association of America ADAO: Anxiety Disorders Association of Ontario ADAC: Anxiety Disorders Association of Canada
By Dr. Wilma Stern-Cavalcante - Registered Psychologist 12 Jul, 2017
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